All communication doesn't make a point or solve a problem. Some conversations never need to take place and others need to stop before they get out of hand. These out-of-hand conversations worthlessly waste personal energy. They also have a residual effect by causing you to think and re-think what was said. You can easily waste hours rehearsing one of these go-nowhere conversation
Make sure the person is receptive.
Question: "If I could present information to you that could be beneficial to this situation, would you be interested?" Wait for the answer. If the answer is "No," walk away. If the answer to your request is "Sure," calmly give that information. If your conversation improves as a result of the new information, that's great. If you find yourself right back into another confrontation, walk away.
Find out what the person expects.
If the confrontation is with your boss, ask for a private meeting. At the outset of the meeting ask how you can best communicate with him or her. Then patiently wait for the answer. If you consistently butt your head against the wall with your boss, either learn to live with it or walk away.
Listen. . . Okay, now really listen!
Always make it a point to do your very best to understand the other person's point of view. When possible, rephrase his/her point of view and then ask if you comprehended him/her correctly.
Show appreciation.
Always, always, always thank people for their time and honesty.
Exercise your power to walk away.
The final and most valuable point in this section is that exercising a walk-away point is designed to be energizing. Once you realize the situation is futile and energy draining, you can exercise your right to walk away.
Do it gracefully.
Don't leave angry, frustrated or irritated. Each of those emotions is energy draining. Remember, people do things for their own reasons, not for yours. Don't drain your energy being angry at the way people choose to be.
If you find yourself in a difficult conversation immediately drop the assumption that you are going to prove a point or change someone's mind. It's important to recognize that people have their own opinions and strongly hold on to them, whether they are right or wrong. This is a big part of learning how to walk-away from difficult communication. Use the six steps above to take action in a difficult conversation. When you do you are going to discover who you do or do not want to communicate with.
